Down Time, what it is - and why we need it
Down Time… Apparently I Need It!
I recently started a journal called Find Your Strength, and the very first task was about DOWN TIME. I actually laughed. Down time? Me? My brain doesn’t do down time. It overthinks, analyses, creates imaginary conversations and occasionally makes life decisions based on a £2 scratch card…
Yes. You read that right.
I once decided that if a scratch card won, it was a sign from the universe that I should pursue a relationship.It won. £2. I even framed it in a photo frame in amazement! Looking back, I should probably have taken the £2 and RUN! Spending the money in a gum ball machine would have been a better decicion!
I've always been a big believer in signs, tarot and oracle cards. I've had cards tell me things I absolutely did NOT want to hear, and instead of listening, my response was basically, “Yeah… but can we do that reading again?” - Because apparently, if I don't like the answer, I just need a different one! But the more I think about it, the more I realise the universe probably wasn't giving me confusing signs.
I just wasn't listening.
I already knew when certain relationships weren't right, I knew when I was forcing things, I knew when I was putting everyone else before myself. I just desperately wanted the answer to be different.
Recently another curve ball - Olive: My nine-year-old Rottweiler. My absolute rock. She's been with me through the chaos, the heartbreak, the rebuilding, the ridiculous decisions and everything in between. I found some lumps on her stomach and it stopped me in my tracks, it reminded me that she won't be here forever and as heartbreaking as that thought is, it also gave me a massive wake-up call. I've spent so much time worrying about who was coming into my life, who was staying, who was leaving and whether certain relationships were going to work.
This is where down time has changed my life, I am learning to calm my nervous system and make more sensible decisions, focus on my dogs and actually spend quality time with them and enjoy what ever time we have now. If you know me, you will know I lost my dog Jen to cancer and it actually broke my heart, I feel like I felt it literally broken and cracked, I didnt know how to do life without her, then 4 months later my puppy Taylor got cancer. Sometimes life be like that, but what say it - at least they had a great life. So i guess the same needs to be true for us, we get stuck in our own heads and situations and frantically trying to correct them. But how about at the end of the day - ‘she had a great life’. That can BE for us.
Maybe that's what down time really means - not lying still with an empty mind, not suddenly becoming some zen person who meditates at sunrise - for me, it's creating enough space to actually hear what I already know, because sometimes we don't need another sign - but we do need to bring our minds back to our selves.
So, what can we actually do?
• Create some quiet: Even 10 minutes without your phone, Netflix or someone else's opinion can make a difference.
• Ask yourself the honest question: If nobody else was involved, what would I choose?
• Stop negotiating with red flags: You don't need 47 more reasons to leave something that doesn't feel right.
• Pay attention to how you feel: Your body and emotions are often telling you things your brain is trying to ignore.
• Choose yourself: Make one decision this week that is genuinely good for YOU.
I'm still learning all of this, I'm still very capable of making questionable decisions - but I'm finally starting to understand that down time isn't about doing nothing.
It's about giving yourself enough space to hear yourself — and then actually listening.
And honestly?
Little old me could probably have done with that lesson a long time ago.